You Did That With Him, Silly!
by Insane Rice of the Cosmos
Summary: Part of my 'Bust the Wall' series. Uploaded the wrong file, sorry. DX Slash is funny, especially when the subjects finally figure it out.


**Another one of my 'Bust the Wall' fics. They're mostly one shots now, bur either way, I'm just happy to be able to type freely again.**

**Holidays…yeesh. Anyway, it begins a little odd, but just keep reading, and don't let the obvious slash throw you off.**

**And I'm not bashing slash fans at all. I'm ok with slash, just not in large quantities.  
**

**Also, I messed up the files, so yeah.****

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"Erm, Jazz?"

"What, Prowl?"

"Do you think…that there'll be something…'more' between us? You know, more than just…friends?"

"I don't see why not." Jazz grabbed Prowl around the waist, embracing him tightly.

"Jazz…"

"Prowl…"

-

"OH SWEET PRIMUS, MY OPTICS! MY CPU! MY LOGIC PROCESSOR! MY POOR SENTIENT SELF! IT ALL BUUUUURNS!"

Bumblebee ran screaming out of his room, yelling something about Prowl and Jazz being 'together'.

Unfortunately, said bots were passing his room when that happened.

"What was that all about?" Jazz asked Prowl curiously.

The stern mech looked inside the young spy's room. "I think he saw something disturbing on the computer." He replied.

"I wonder what he saw. Care to investigate?"

"Why not?"

-

_One fanfic later…_

Both mechs were staring with wide optics at the story they had finished reading. Neither of them moved at first…

Then, "WHAT IN THE MATRIX WAS THAT?!" Jazz bellowed, completely floored by that fic.

"I don't get it." Prowl said, blinking. "This document states that we are a couple. We aren't, correct?"

"Obviously! Who wrote this, anyway!?"

"I believe they're called 'fangirls'." Prowl replied, scanning the fic for a user name.

"Man, we could write better scrap than this!"

"Quite."

-

"And then they…ARGH! THE MEMORY BURNS!"

"Calm down, Bee." Ratchet said to the shaking spy. Bumblebee had gone to Ratchet for help with his mental scarring. "What else happened?"

"Well, at first, it was only Jazz and Prowl, but then…it went on." Bee said, in the fetal position. "First JazzXProwl…then …then…"

"Spit it out, Bee!"

"You and Ironhide…" Bee managed to squeak out.

Ratchet froze up. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HE READING ON THE INTERNET?!

"I can assure you, Bee, Ironhide and I are not together. I promise." Ratchet said soothingly, patting Bee's shoulder.

"R-really?"

"Really. Now, was there anything else?" Ratchet held a datapad and a stylus at the ready. As Bee listed the couples in the massive slashfic, he nodded and grinned internally.

This was gonna be sooooo sweet. Not even Sunny and Sides could top this one.

-

"So can you do all these in different fics?"

Ratchet handed the datapad to a thin, graceful femme who'd come at his request. She was an oc/ assistant to a very avid fan fiction writer whose real name was unknown, and went only by Mecha Giga.

"I'm sure my mistress could do these in a few days time." The femme said in a silky voice. "But it'll cost you."

"One scrapbook of secrets, coming up, miss." Ratchet held out a small stack of datapads. "Everything she needs to know about the Autobots, even things THEY don't even know about themselves."

"That will do. Look for the fics in your inbox soon." The femme stalked off, leaving a grinning Ratchet.

-

"Hmmm? I have an e-mail from the Autobot base."

Lord Megatron was checking his e-mail, when a large file popped up.

_-_

_Dear Megatron,_

_Please distribute these files among your soldiers. They are important and have no viruses. You can even check._

_-Ratchet_

-

Megatron did do a virus check, and the Autobot's message was truthful. There were no viruses at all. He sent all the files to the corresponding Decepticons and kept the ones meant for him.

He had no idea what these files were about…until he read the first one belonging to him.

Had he been drinking energon, he would have done a spit take.

"I DID WHAT WITH PRIME AND WHO NOW!?" He yelled in shock. But it didn't end there.

You see dear reader, there are endless canon pairings, but Megatron didn't know that. He was merely concerned with the two presented to him.

That would be him and his brother and him and Starscream

And Starscream had gotten a copy of himself and Megatron, and two involving him with Skywarp and Thundercracker.

Barricade, however, had it worse. He'd been paired with Bumblebee, Jazz, Frenzy AND Ironhide. Poor guy. He had barely started reading the fics now. The worst part?

He couldn't look away.

-

Optimus had passed the Autobots' files amongst his soldiers as well, never suspecting what the subject of the files was.

Ratchet had sent himself his due fics as well, to divert suspicion. The Medic had Bee, Ironhide, Optimus, and even Jazz on his list of pairings. He was snickering to himself as he read the fics. This writer person was pretty good, even if it was slash.

Optimus was lucky. Other than OC pairings, the only other common pairing was with Megatron. But that didn't lessen his disgust and horror.

Bumblebee, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. He'd been paired with Barricade and even SAM. 'A HUMAN, FOR PRIMUS' SAKE,' he thought as he finished the fic. He really needed to get to the wash racks and try and cleanse himself of those…disturbing images. He had a staff like object with him, though.

Better safe than raped in the wash racks.

What of Ironhide, you ask?

He was taking it surprisingly well, actually.

He read the fics as though they were nothing special, and commented to himself that the author was really good.

Despite being paired with Ratchet, Jazz, Barricade, Bonecrusher, Blackout, Optimus and Starscream, he didn't even flinch.

His awesomeness wasn't even dented.

-

_Meanwhile…_

"The black mech is taking it well, my Lady."

The same femme sat before several monitors, watching the Autobots' and Deceptiocons' reaction to the fics.

"Excellent. That's why he's my bishie, Spark!" A voice came from an intercom. " But he will break...soon and then they'll all bow to my will!" Evil cackles echoed around the dark warehouse.

Spark sighed. She really needed a better job, and 'assistant to a crazed fangirl' wasn't really going to cut it anymore.

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**Ok, I hope you liked it. I've been playing with that one for a while now…**


End file.
